A circle has closed..wonder what's next?

I have been thinking about this next post since almost 2 months ago, when on the 18th of December I was elected President of AIESEC Bucharest, the organization in which I am involved as a volunteer since november 2003..

"A circle has closed.."

It all started in Poland, in spring 2004, when during an evening plenary, one powerpoint presentation was promoting a conference "You!Can" that was taking place in Germany in august. Back then I had nothing in mind, no thought about applying for it. On the way back to Bucharest I've had one of the most influential discussion ever, with one person that later on became a model for me.. I've continued school and AIESEC as motivated as always.

In june I received early in the morning a message from one of my close friends saying that I was accepted as part of the organizing committee of the You!Can conference in Germany. It was an impossible dream, since I was a young member and this conference had some high requirements (I still believe that the 20 persons I've talked to helped me a lot in gaining the motivation for this conference.. thank you Pode, Geta, Albert, Carl, Prue, Alexis, Paul.. and the others I don't remember now).

The first thing that came into my mind was to check on the map and see where is Hannover... and then realised that I cannot afford taking the train/plane/bus to Germany (since my parents had given me a lot of financial support during that year). Then I've started to hitch-hike. The first experience was from Bucharest to Sibiu with Paul (the President of AIESEC Bucharest 2004-2005). The second experience was from Bucharest to Vama Veche (by myself). The third experience was from Bucharest to Hannover :D I got into You!Can after a long journey (Stopping in Budapest for the Sziget Fesztival... I still miss a close friend from Budapest, Zita, that gave me all her help during my stay there).

It was incredible for me, since this conference was happening in the same time with International Congress (and together the conferences were gathering almost 800 people from 84 countries). To cut the long story short, my organizing committee experience was shorter than expected due to a situation in which I decided to get involved in (the story is really long and not worth being written here, maybe I'll tell it over a beer). Even if I cryied 2 days afterwards, I learned some really important lessons that are still helping me in guiding my life and found my mentor... the person that was going to be next to me in some key moments in the next 10 months, both for me and for him. In You!Can I decided to go to Austria for a CEED (Cultural Envoy for Exchange Development.. kind of an internship inside of AIESEC) for 3 months as Vice President People Development.

I had the time of my life...and understood what is really important for me. I had the chance to work in an international environment, to run a recruitment, to do every mistake possible in intercultural communication, to be helped by close friends... to get the international experience I dreamed off since I finished highschool. I made a promise before arriving in Romania. I promised that I will work for at least 6 months in AIESEC Bucharest.. for a better organization.Coming back from Austria, I applyied for Vice President Marketing on the 18th of december 2004 and wasn't elected. I continued a year as a Trainers Team Coordinator.. and boy was it a cool year. A dream started in Macedonia, in a place very close to my heart at that moment, even though I feel this place has lost it's magic since then, but as the time will pass I am sure that it will sure feel the same when I'll come back there... Ohrid. I decided to run for president in AIESEC Bucharest.. and after a recruitment that made me realise that I am not that weak as I thought I was, after running for 3 months after a goal, the one of recruiting a generation that will once again give a fresh perspective to the organization, I stopped in a national conference in december, on the top of the hotel we were staying in, drinking the bottle of wine that I have received from a very special person of mine while back in Macedonia.. Tga Za Jug (Sorrow for the south). It wasn't the taste of the wine, or better said, not the taste but the people that were around me then made it really amazing, they were the people that really touched me in the past year, that were next to me at some small moments even though they weren't realising it.


And finally I faced my dream.. a dream that was in my mind for months, the one of getting the trust of the people around me and willing to follow me for one year.

Challenge -> SYNERGY -> Believe

This was my committment for 2006-2007.

Challenge: we must stop running and start facing the challenges that we encounter in our lives, because this was what I have learned in my experience. That no matter how far will you run or no matter where you will hide, the fears will never dissapear, but even worse, will strike you when you don't even think or expect.

SYNERGY: because only together we are going to move to the next level, the level where in an synergic way we are going to unite all our strong points and overcome fears, challenges, the unknown. This word summarizes the way I dream and lead everyday AIESEC Bucharest. This is my committment... because this is what I want to learn, how to put all the trust in people and share my all the strong points with the people around me in the same time with the weak points, just to show that I can develop and learn no matter where I am (position or age).

Believe: we are individuals facing life every day, and every minute of our day is meant to be under a question, "am I right or wrong?", "am I in love or not?", "am I doing the right thing or not?". My answer is:"Who cares?". Believe that it is right and it will be, believe that you want to do the right thing and you will start doing it. Believe that you are made up from emotions, and you will be in love with yourself, the people around you and nevertheless with what you are doing.

And the last one was to represent Romania in the best way I can wherever I will go and whatever my role will be. Because after almost 28.000 km of travelling I am proud to be a Romanian. I am proud of my country and people no matter how many "small bads" we find in both of them. I am proud of my parents that don't have high education, but have managed to raise 2 children just with the education they've got in a village in the north of Romania, where even today the modernism and hightech are unnecessary for the simple life they are living, because as somebody very dear to me said once:"Life is simple but with every day passing we are complicating it more and more".

This was my legagy and thing I will strive to leave and inspire the people around me with, because this is who I am. My application and presentation represented me.

I was elected.. and the next week, while I was walking home, I felt an imense pressure on my shoulders, coming from the huge amount of questions coming from all the directions inside:
My brain was asking me: "What will you do next?", "What is your next step?"
My heart was asking me: "Do you understand what you feel? Do you feel what you understand?"
I was asking me: "What is happening to me?","What will happen to me?"

I decided to give an answer to all of them: "Time will tell, I need to just be.."

This answer came in the same place where it all started, where the impossible dream appeared, where the circle opened.. in Ohrid, Macedonia.

Somebody asked me some days ago, if it has the same effect on somebody else as well. I don't know, and probably it has not. Not because we are different people, or better yet not only because of this, but because you need to find the place that connects with your feelings in the perfect moment at the perfect time. This was the second time it happened me in less than one year, and strangely it was the same place.. next to the lake of Ohrid, next to the church on the cliffs.

A circle has closed...wonder what's next?

Just be...

Mugur

One year ago.. this picture was taken right after one of my trips to a football match.. Parma - Steaua (when I was in an intership program inside AIESEC called CEED). After it I wrote "24 hours of my life". Amazing moments with a high value to myself as an individual, bringing me courage, and demonstrating once more that whenever I want something, I just need to make a first step and the rest will follow.
Snapshot of a feeling...

"Macedonian born Romanian".. strange as it might sound, I feel that I belong to that country, that being the place where I was reborn.
Snapshot of a feeling...

The hardest part is inside me...

Last friday I was at a concert.. Tiesto CEE Tour. Being one of the biggest music producers in the world, it was abvious that a lot of people were going to attend it. But nobody thought that 10.000 people will be there, 10.000 souls together, listening to the same music and having different thoughts and feelings in the same time...

I've started reading "The Celestine Prophecies" once again. I wanted to be able to attend this concert but unfortunatelly wasn't capable of buying a ticket. With less than 24 hours before the event my sister called me and let me know that she just won an invitation for 2 persons for Tiesto... coincidences? Well.. for those of you who read the book, it all makes sense..

In 2003, while I was working as a sales executive in a pharmaceutical company, I was capable of buying myself the entrance at most of the house events that were taking place in Romania, as the time passed, priorities changed. Though I still listen to house music, I attend less and less this kinds of events, but I still enjoy listening house music not hearing it.

One song I enjoy most from Tiesto.. "Just be" :

You can travel the world
But you can't run away
From the person you are in your heart
You can be who you want to be
Make us believe in you
Keep all your light in the dark
If you're searchin for truth
You must look in the mirror
And make sense of what you can see
Just be
Just be

They say learning to love yourself
Is the first step
That you take when you want to be real
Flying on planes to exotic locations
Won't teach you
How you to feel
Face up to the fact
That you are who you are
And nothing can change that belief
Just be
Just be

'cause now I know
It's not so far
To where I go
The hardest part
Is inside me
I need
To just be
Just be

I was lost
And I'm still lost
But I feel so much better

'cause now I know
It's not so far
To were I go
The hardest part
Is inside me
I need
To just be
Just be

This song contains a lot of beliefs that I have in life.. starting from the fact that I do not believe travelling changes you as a person, but more reveals who you really are.. to the fact that we have to love ourselves before loving somebody else. Even though we say most of the times, after a long journey.. that with the time spend away we have changed, I deeply believe that we are just discovering who we really are.

Self discovery while being away is similar with packing your luggage when leaving for a trip. When you have to pack your things for a trip, you are being told, and you are aware that you have to take what is extremely important for the travel itself and the staying away from your home:
- identity cards (without which you cannot pass the borders)
- clothes (that must keep you warm)
- money (that you use to buy souvenirs, food.. etc)

Right after you have exited the doorway, you say to yourself :"Have I taken all that I need?", and most of the times you did, or you didn't, this is not so important, the feeling is what matters, whether you are anxious for the trip or for letting something behind.

But.. have you ever thought about this packing in this way?

- identity cards (without which you cannot pass the borders)

The "necessary things" are the elements that define YOU as an individual: values, principles, dreams, ambitions in life. When I left for Austria I took a lot of "luggage" just to find out there that from all the things that I took, only few of them were really necessary for my life. The rest...? Were just impressions of myself, or things that I wished were extremely important to me.

What I did use in the end? Enthusiasm, Living Diversity, Introspection, Love, Friendship, the power of dreaming on a daily basis, the ability to take what was bad and accept it as a part of my life, and so making it more complex.

- clothes.. you find out that they help you but you can live without them..

- money .. you find out that they might give you a huge advantage, but if you do not spend it on something you love, it will not count


I was at this concert on friday.. Tiesto.. "Just be" album.. louzy music.. amazing athmosphere.. 10.000 people present.

I make my reality.

A lot of noise, a lot of smoke, a lot of freedom. I gave myself the freedom to dream while being awake. I was listening to some songs I 've already heard, hundreds of times, but I was projecting me on some screens right behind Tiesto, my past 2 years in AIESEC.. my past 22 years in life.

I was willing to share it all with 10.000 people... years of playing basketball, years of running through pubs, fighting away the prejudice of being a priest because I had to, and making my own path in life, travelling around the world.. all just for a reason: to find out who I am.

And I realized (as a Romanian nouvelist wrote in his book, and I thank a good friend for sharing it with me) that the minute you start searching for yourself, is the minute when you start knowing yourself. The journey of self discovery starts with one single step, with a simple set of questions:"Who am I? What do I really like? What is important to me? What makes me go forward each day?".

Then again..
"you can travel the world,
but you can run away from the person you are in your heart
you can be who you want to be
makes us believe in you
keep all your light in the dark
BUT YOU CAN'T RUN AWAY FROM THE PERSON YOU ARE IN YOUR HEART!"

It's sunday... and I come after a weekend of drinking red wine, dreaming, writing down ideas for the future, making mental connections with some good old friends, and last but not least, flying while staying in my room, to 2 different places where I had the same feeling: a castle in Ljubljana, Slovenija and Gaudi's park in Barcelona.. the feeling that I need to JUST BE and the magic of life will always surround me... as it did on friday, and as it will next week, next year.. and for the rest of my life.


As a close soul reminded me this year..

"we must dare to think unthinkable thoughts, because when things become unthinkable, thinking stops and actions become mindless"!

JUST BE...

Mugur

The journey begins...

The world is like a book, and those who do not travel read only one page

When I first thought about having a blog, in which to post my own feelings,so that people all over the world see what I go through, I had this statement in my mind, because I trully believe it is making much more sense than all the other personal sharing quotes I've been reading on professional websites.

The world is like a book...

Where the "books" are the people, all the people that cross the street together with us, or that are going to the same school, workplace, shops we do, but in the end, not the cover matters the most, but the content, the story inside that can captivate you or can leave you as empty as before reading it.

Day by day we are living in a huge library, in which books are surrounding us, present there to be "read" so that one can have a first glance of an experience even before going through it in reality.

...and those who do not travel read only one page!

By choosing to "travel" you choose to "read" more "books", to listen and capture more stories, experiences, knowledge from the people around you. If you choose not to do it, not to travel from human being to human being, and searching for the beauty that lies in the content, I congratulate you for being another cover reader (and just say hello to the other eighty percent of the human population that strives to travel in life from tourist site to tourist site.. and not to understand the history, the past, the mistery lying behind an experience).

This blog is meant to capture the experience that I have in preparing for the next year, while looking for the past learning experiences that I have already gained. I invite you to share with me your thoughts regarding my ideas, opinions or remarks, but in the end do not forget that all the things that I will write here are just meant to be an example not something that you should take for granted.

I am who I am...

Mugur